life is one frigging roller coaster ride. one moment ure damn high coz of smone... n e nxt moment, ure down in e doldrums coz of some other stupid reason. why izzit that words are so powerful? 26 letters jumbled up and punctuated with well, punctuation marks and spaces. if only e human brain could process our speech and actions... weigh the consequences before we actually perform it... or if only life had pause, rewind and play buttons. one thing is for shure. im well known for shooting myself in e foot. heck, if e bullets were real, id have no feet left to shoot. so to anyone i might have accidentally hurt, my sincerest and deepest apologies. notice how i use the word 'accidentally'. no, im nt deluded into thinking tt i can commit no sin. on the contrary. its juz that i honestly dont mean half the stuff i say. a friend once commented that i dont mean what i say and i say what i dont mean. hmm... deep stuff... back to my rollercoaster of a life. i juz got a free laptop... courtesy of my good 'ol uncle. and on e cards is mamat passing over his car to me for 'safe keeping'. i shant elaborate on that as i haf a tendency to count my eggs before they hatch. come to tink of it... im relli sia suay in this department. some soul searching has thought me that its probably due to me boasting of future aquisitions... and god simply shoots my ego down. even as i write this, anudder friend got upset by smtin i said. cant deny that it was my fault back dere... bt i dunno. i shld haf rephrased things more tactfully i guess. my efforts to contact here has been futile. mabbe shes blocking me out. how sia? juz wen i tot life cldnt get any worse, my rollercoaster went underground. i dunno... i see myself as e outgoing n friendly type. i guess i care too much bout other ppl. i mean, when my friends r wrestling on e ground, i instinctly look out for sharp edges n stuff... n i cant help myself opening doors for random ladies. haha. so wen smone accuses me of bein selfish, well, it hurts relli relli relli bad. my mind races trying to think- where in e hell did i screw up? man this sucks. wat a depressing entry. its like as tho my emotions r channeling via my fingers into e keypad. hope e planets shift soon. i can sure as hell use with a little ray of light shining on my garden patch... which reminds me (altho i dun see e connection how) i gotta go pray. find solace in religion.