i've been undone by a moment of folly,living my life like there's no tomorrow;now i try hard to say that i'm sorry,but nothing i say will ease my sorrow.
shit man. got 2 'f's already. but nahh, i dun feel dejected. at all. period. coz of all the avoidable shitty mistakes i made... not to mention all the crap questions i didnt attempt coz of time mismanagement and less than adequate preparation. so yea. blame me. playin soccer, go play warcraft. movies. haha. as i was sayin to ziqin. "ive been seeing the 's' words often these days- soccer, skool, sun, sand, swimming, songs, sex (??!). u noe, ive been on more dates in e past few months den e whole year. dun ask me how much. lets juz say more than what my ten fingers can cope wif... n i got no $$$ to top up my ezlink card. haha. shit. but do i care? gotta study. block out all negative externalities (pun intended). haha.juz got off from talkin to ms lim. yea. boy, was she disappointed (at tis pt in time, can safely (??!) say tt shes not e only teacher). "mickey, u were e last person i expected to fail. after how u bucked up since mid year, i expected a decent grade from u."wah. yea. i did buck up. recently been scoring the 16s, 17s and a couple 19s for my essays. haha. n to tink tt all of last yr, i never passed. got 8s for my promo summore. so that, i guess could be my silver lining. yea. put in more effort. can get 'a'! ahaha.yea. so tis is goin out to all u losers who r takin ur 'a's (or ani other exam for tt matter); shit. stop surfin e net n readin my blog! its for ur own good. go study la!
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
my all time fav song.
losing my grip (hoobastank)
Another night follows the day
Like a child does to its mother
And everywhere I look I see your face
On the face of others
And I can't escape the pain
All the questions I went through
I never told myself the truth
I turned my back on you and me
Cause I was scared to see
That we weren't who we used to be
So now I'm...
Trying hard to let go, let you go
But I can't seem to loosen my grip
Trying hard to let go, let you go
Let you go, go
I feel an emptiness inside
A part of me already died
When I pretended to go on
Like everything's ok
Then all we built began to fall
As I began to lose it all
I shut my eyes and set me free
Cause I was scared to see
That we weren't who we used to be
So now I'm...
Trying hard to let go, let you go
But I can't seem to loosen my grip
Trying hard to let go, let you go
Let you go, go
You're all that I ever wanted
You're everything that I need
But now it's finally over
Time for goodbyes
I need it so now I'm...
Trying hard to let go, let you go
But I can't seem to loosen my grip
Trying hard to let go, let you go
Let you go, go...
Monday, September 27, 2004
fuck man. looks like no matter how hard i try, can never win imran in winning-11. shit la. went ahead like 4 times in e game la. but ended up losing on golden goal- an own goal summore! nabei. wah. lose 5-6 eh. kaoz. well, fuckin shit day for games man. kept losin 2 kennard. haha. damn tyco. den wen i was winnin e other imran, e ps2 hanged! kaoz. not my day man. shit la.go online oso kena sound by ms lim. haiz. seriusly, the whole universe has smtin against me or wad? loserish eh. wah piang eh.
Saturday, September 25, 2004
wheee. didnt study today! ahaha. so happy. planned 2 go to far east to get my ear pierced. haha. but i damn hamchi. kennard call me to go but haha. luckily my mom call me go market 1st. so instead go play soccer at lam soon there wif wei jie's frenz. haha. crap man. go there oni rain. kaoz. ended up kickin e ball under e block like small kids. haha. sheesh.
Friday, September 24, 2004
lifes been sucked out through the marrow. i haf this sinking feeling one gets wen u noe u wun get wat u want. ahh fuck it. wat m i talkin bout? god noes. i got no clue. all i noe is tt i feel empty inside. like a part of me has already died. quick, i need CPR. seems like im becoming more far removed from society. like i care. finally, after 18 years, ive got wat i want. but y? y do i feel like this? a levels ke per? cant b. a sign that ive matured? damn, hope not. wheres the comfy blanket wen i need 1? whee, im stepping out of my ivory tower. no more a kid. not a boy, not yet a man. wats happening? haha. delayed puberty? haha. ok, sometins relli wrong. i can make no sense of this. im letting my fingers do the typing. mabbe after all this rabble, ill get somewhere. till then wathefuck.
Monday, September 20, 2004
hmm.. been pensive of late. blame it on all the studyin... i dunno. haiz. spent e weekend wif e f4 (not e lame boyband mind u... i mean e fantastic 4- me, fariq, kennard and weilun) studyin at e mac near css. met lots of my juniors. sial ar. they prelims oreadi so stressed up..study so hard... i remember... tt time 2 yrs ago, i was playin soccer... got into a fight on e day b4 geog ppr... cid n police came down... haha... had to go to e boonlay police hq summore. wth?aniway, been fuckin stressed up recently. blame it on human geog bein dry. i dunno. all i noe is i want redemption. i want my 'a'! haha. k so i found myself drifting away lots over e days. keep tinkin of stuff... haha. even came up wif some analogies and a story.. but more on that later.i looked back out my time spent in jjc. not the proudest 2 years, but by far e most memorable and impactful. yea. dunno la. everytime i look at the big red board outside e GO, i feel like crying. not tt im gonna do badly, but its coz i noe that my student life is coming to an end. haiz. 12 years seems like a long time... i was so carefree wen i was young. but now? man, i feel wasted. shld haf cherished all my friends wen i cld haf. i remember in pri6, every1 was goin arnd wif diaries.. mabbe coz tt time no friendster, but well, it was a start. i tot it was kinda girly. but didnt mind writing in my friends' diaries. soon, psle came. den we wentour seperate ways. but i was too happy tt i went to css to cry. den there was the 'o'levels. haha, yea. i was a bit sad. actually, was waitin 4 e prom so tt we cld get our revenge. haiz. but i didnt quite miss most me friends... somehow knew we all wld go to jjc. yep, we did. but now, the fork juz got wider. haiz. army 4 us, uni for e girls. fuck la. i dun wanna grow up!! ohh well. fariq told me smtin tt relli sumed how i felt now... hollow. empty even. kinda wierd considerin its been ages since yea, mych. but haiz. u noe, a person is like a hole. u r empty. den, sum1 comes along and fills u up. that person adds in more sand day by day. nothing can erode it away. soon, u become a mountain. and then, all of a sudden, apocalypse. the mountain is wiped away. and theres a gaping hole...den i remembered wat i told him a few months back... bout e story of the boy and the teacher. the boy asked the teacher wat true love meant. the teacher said ' see the field over there? i want you to walk to e end of it. pick up the nicest balde of grass u see as u go. if u want another one, drop the first. but u cant come back to take it again.' so the boy did as he was told.. not understanding e teacher. and he returned to the teacher... empty handed. 'what happened' the teacher asked. 'i saw this grass... took it. then i looked up, saw somthin gleaming in the distance. so i dropped it and went there. wen i got there, i saw lots of nice grasses. but i tot if i went further id find even better ones. but the ones at the back were all dead or dying.'u get the moral of the story?
Friday, September 17, 2004
waduhh!! shit man. sad man. nabei. i gonna flunk my geog man.. i didnt do e optional coastal qn la! heh. ironic eh. optional but muz do. haiz. waste 25 marks la. kaoz. haaa. dun make me go into detail la. shit. well, gotta keep lookin into e future. ya. e past is past. human geog here i come.
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
wheee... my 50th posting. haha. wth? lol.
Sunday, September 12, 2004
this is a story i heard, well, yea. sorta... A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home from the war. He called his parents from San Francisco. "Mom and Dad, I'm coming home,but I've a favour to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me." "Sure, they replied, we'd love to meet him." "There's something you should know the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and i want him to come live with us.""I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live." "No, Mom and Dad, i want him to live with us." "Son," said the father,"you don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this to interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a wayto live on his own." At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide. The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg. The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good- looking ir fun to have around, but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy,beautiful, or smart as we are. Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way. Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are. Tonight, before you tuck yourself in for the night, say a little prayer that God will give you the strength you need to accept people as they are, and to help us all be more understanding of those who are different from us!!! There's a miracle called Friendship that dwells in the heart You don't know how it happens Or when it gets started But you know the special lift It always brings And you realize that Friendship Is God's most precious gift! Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. they make you smile and encourage you to succeed They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us... so remember, dun b a hypocrite.
Saturday, September 11, 2004
september 11. a day of infamy to the modern world. but did u noe, back in the 70s, september 11 was infamous for another 'disaster'? yea. ohh well.i dunno whether i shld b apathetic like most other ppl, fret or pity the americans or even the 'terrorists'. well, one things fo sho. serve the americans right. and did u noe, the worlds 1st terrorist was washington? yea. tt dude gave the red coats a run fo their money. so u c, one guys freedom fighter is another's terrorist. nahh.. ill leave it to u to decide who's who. as far as im concerned, both parties are in da wrong. u cant bequeath violence wif violence.well, everytin happens fo a reason right? 150 years of intervention in other peoples' business later and us gets its first knock on her door. and look how scared she is. (dun take me wrong, i dun support or condone any violence) the big busybody. haha. during ww2, she joined in a war she had no reason to b in. well, technically, it was a political motive behind it all. bahZ, but who cares? till 2001, not much had happened in e mainland in terms of large scale casualties. look. ww2, us destroys japan. but not much fighting happened in the land of the free. (pearl harbour aint part of e main land, my dear).ok in anicase, get this. on the night of sept 11 (singapore time le.) a huge irony was unfolding in my place. i was playin risk (u noe e global conquest game) wif me bro and uncle in e rec room upstairs while waitin fer some wwe special. channel 5 was showin some crap programme... so was watchin sometin like good mornin new york on cnn.. or was it cnbc? dunno la. lets juz get 2 e point. so im black, my bro was white. i was down to my last territory - western united states. had 2 lone armies on it. my bro? well, he occupied afghanistan and middle east (among others la.) ok, so he was attackin me, tryin 2 wipe me out of e face of e world, so to speak. damn his little ass. lol. so get this. we rolled the dice and i was down to 1 puny army. looked up at e tv and saw a plane fly into e 1st tower. ok. it didnt register into my mind at first. oni wen e cameramam and host started freakin out did i realise wat was goin on. ok. yea, freaky. and fer the record. i lost.then, it occured to me. how lucky was that? i mean, a camera was rollin wen 21st century's greatest event occured. hurray 4 modern photography. notice how many films americans take. its as if they keep e recorder on 24/7 to catch some funny moment (for afv) or some spectacular accidents 9for worlds most amazing car crashes). then the concorde crash... and sure enuff, sum1 was rollin film as well. gee. and i never seem to get anitin excitin in my videos...cept the time wen i was 1 and my dad filmed me takin my first steps (but wait. howd i noe tt was my real first steps. could haf been an exaggeration on his part right? dammit. y dun we remember anitin tt happens b4 we re 3?)
your suicide
9/11/2004 09:16:00 am
Friday, September 10, 2004
10.09.04
9/10/2004 11:40:00 pmhaha. didnt study as hard as i shld haf. so shoot me. lol. well, i went 2 play soccer at 7 wif e css dudes n kennard n theo. haha. ok la. long time never play in e night. so cldnt c e ball. lol. so, yea, no goals. haiz. but i did assist in one! ran to the byline n crossed e ball wif a back-flick. lol. nice. haha. oh yea. i had this one superb free-kick. frm 1 end 2 e other. curled like hell. but. haiz. hit e bar. lol.
hmm... but as i write this, i feel empty inside. like im 4gettin something. oh yea. i didnt study. shit la. ok, gonna mug like hell 2morrow. yea. goin 2 meet e fantastic dudes tt make up e fantastic 4 2 mug. yea. tts it.
a new beginning
9/10/2004 04:54:00 pmhehe. finally. i did it! i changed my blog... completely! woohoo! lol. haha. wif minimal help frm ani1 summore. alright. and now, tis twilight pool relli looks gothic. haha. nice annot? lol.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
09.09.04
9/09/2004 11:15:00 pmim possessed. yea. thats right. otherwise, how in the hell would i spend the last 4 days in skool studyin 9 to 9? whoa. i impress myself. haha. did lotsa essays. actualli tink im gonna do well for my history. oh yea, juz realised tt i neglected econs totally. ah forget it. its juz e prelims. but then again, mr ng say he'll gof e class $200 if every1 passed. hope i pass... for e class's sake. or sum1 else fail oso. lol. no la. as for geog, tin ill juz run tru e notes. bahZ. mabbe do some essays 2morrow. oh yea, 2morrow my mom is flying off. haiz. my 4th trip to changi airport in like 2 weeks. lol. wonder wen its gonna b my turn to fly. i can juz imagine. goin off to dunnowhere wif e guys after e 'a's or go to usa to meet some old friends. hmm... or better yet. gettin sent off to uk or usa for university. wah. haha. but dun laff. my dad sez im off to texas u if i cant get law in nus. haha! song bo?
Monday, September 06, 2004
06.09.04
9/06/2004 11:36:00 pmfariq and vivek's birthday. so went 2 watch a movie... caught harold and kumar go to white castle. lol great movie. haha. fuckin funny lol. lol. juz go watch it la. lol.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
01.09.04
9/02/2004 03:16:00 pmreflections.another month waves goodbye. sigh. i was supposed 2 achieve leaps n bounds in terms of progress as i prepare 4 e 'a's. alas, time's gone and ive got myself to blame. wth la? well, no more procastination. prelims in a fortnight. a FORTHNIGHT?!!! haha. yea. wow. n u noe wad? i tried 2 study 2dy... after e history remedial- on teachers' day- went 2 king albert park 2 study. ok la. den e devlish minds of zamir n ziqin somehow psychoed me to play some warcraft at beauty world. ok. after 3 hrs, went back 2 study. den... wen i juz got into e mood... hisham call us to play another round. wth? well, ok so i told myself, last day of slacking. geeze. went back 2 e place la. den played a normal game. me, ziqin, zamir. vs. hisham n fahami. haha. borin game. atleast i didnt get slain. lol. den played dotA. yea, now we were talkin! lina inverse again. hahakz. me, ziqin n hisham vs. zam, fahami n kalaf. haha. wasted tho. 2nd top fret oni. lol. haha. and the time? 10pm. on e way back, well, dun blame me. bt timah is very dark at night la. summore i was talkin on e fone. bahz. so yea. kinda walked towards farrer rd. haha. no la. oni to hwa chong. lol. hahakz.
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
31.01.04
9/01/2004 01:07:00 amtoday, well, u noe wad i mean... teachers' day celebration. yea. borin concert. haha. e mass dance oso ok ah. lame. but haf fun tho. haha. after all tt crap, tot of goin back 2 css. but in e end, went 2 imran's hse 2 play e new winning 11 game. haha crap. fun sia. i scored 2 chips!! woohoo. well, 1st of all, i never scored wif a chip b4, so its like putting 2 holes-in-ones. haha. on e way back, realised tt i 4got my hp. haha. luckily remembered b4 reachin e bus stop. haha. on e journey home... hahakz... gee... damn sleepy. lol. bahz. and now i am all showered n prepared 4 bed.. altho i shld b studyin. hahakz. sheesh.