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Monday, February 13, 2006

crap

2/13/2006 04:29:00 am

mic has officially been abducted by aliens. oh, and by the way, he's gay.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

valentines

2/09/2006 02:21:00 am

Which Valentine's Day gift would you like?
To determine your personality, pick the gift you'd most like to receive....

1. Candy
2. Flowers
3. A sweet poem
4. Sex
5. Dinner/Dancing
6. Waffle iron

1. CANDY
It means that...
You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share.
OR...
You're a selfish chocoholic who values a sugar high over everything, even true love.

2. FLOWERS
It means that...
You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture.
OR...
You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die.

3. A SWEET POEM
It means that...
You're a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word.
OR...
You're used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word.

4. SEX
It means that...
You are a passionate soul, a free spirit who is not afraid to express your sexuality with another consenting adult and feel that the physical side of love can be meaningful and beautiful.
OR...
You're a filthy degenerate who is no better than a rutting animal living solely for one carnal experience after another.

5. DINNER/DANCING
It means that...
You enjoy the company of that special someone and the romantic setting of fine cuisine and candlelight.
OR...
You're easy to please and probably willing to sell your body for food and a few quick turns around the dance floor.

6. WAFFLE IRON
It means that...
You're a practical person who believes in gifts that you can actually use.
OR... You have absolutely no idea of what gift-giving is all about and probably have some sort of deviant fetish involving kitchen appliances.

gross

2/09/2006 02:02:00 am

What's grosser than gross?
Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon.

What's grosser than that?
Finding a used condom on the bottom of a mayonnaise jar.

What's grosser than that?
When you open the refigerator and the rump rost farts in your face.

You want to know what's grosser than that?
When you sit on your grandpa's lap and he pops a boner.

But the one thing that is grosser than that is...
...when you are siting on your grandma's lap and she pops a boner.

love story

2/09/2006 02:00:00 am

Hearts and roses and kisses galore...
What the hell is that schtuff for
People get mushy and start acting queer
It's definitely the most annoying day of the year.

This day needs to get the hell over with and pass.
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass.
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear all black for the rest of the week.

Guys act all sweet but soon it will fade…
For all they are doing is trying to get laid.
The arrow cupid shot at me must not have hit,
Because I think love is a bunch of $#!+.
So there's my story... what can I say…
Love bites ass... SCREW VALENTINE'S DAY!

Sunday, February 05, 2006

walala.

2/05/2006 03:30:00 am

never tot e day wld come wen i see a gucci watch n say, "man... thats cheap!" haha.
i so need a new watch. plus new jeans, new shoes, new haircut, heck... i need lotsa stuff. gonna go shopping soon. tink ill get meself a cK watch down at mustafa. wahaha. anione want some free stuff? pei me go shopping ah.