hmm.. been pensive of late. blame it on all the studyin... i dunno. haiz. spent e weekend wif e f4 (not e lame boyband mind u... i mean e fantastic 4- me, fariq, kennard and weilun) studyin at e mac near css. met lots of my juniors. sial ar. they prelims oreadi so stressed up..study so hard... i remember... tt time 2 yrs ago, i was playin soccer... got into a fight on e day b4 geog ppr... cid n police came down... haha... had to go to e boonlay police hq summore. wth?aniway, been fuckin stressed up recently. blame it on human geog bein dry. i dunno. all i noe is i want redemption. i want my 'a'! haha. k so i found myself drifting away lots over e days. keep tinkin of stuff... haha. even came up wif some analogies and a story.. but more on that later.i looked back out my time spent in jjc. not the proudest 2 years, but by far e most memorable and impactful. yea. dunno la. everytime i look at the big red board outside e GO, i feel like crying. not tt im gonna do badly, but its coz i noe that my student life is coming to an end. haiz. 12 years seems like a long time... i was so carefree wen i was young. but now? man, i feel wasted. shld haf cherished all my friends wen i cld haf. i remember in pri6, every1 was goin arnd wif diaries.. mabbe coz tt time no friendster, but well, it was a start. i tot it was kinda girly. but didnt mind writing in my friends' diaries. soon, psle came. den we wentour seperate ways. but i was too happy tt i went to css to cry. den there was the 'o'levels. haha, yea. i was a bit sad. actually, was waitin 4 e prom so tt we cld get our revenge. haiz. but i didnt quite miss most me friends... somehow knew we all wld go to jjc. yep, we did. but now, the fork juz got wider. haiz. army 4 us, uni for e girls. fuck la. i dun wanna grow up!! ohh well. fariq told me smtin tt relli sumed how i felt now... hollow. empty even. kinda wierd considerin its been ages since yea, mych. but haiz. u noe, a person is like a hole. u r empty. den, sum1 comes along and fills u up. that person adds in more sand day by day. nothing can erode it away. soon, u become a mountain. and then, all of a sudden, apocalypse. the mountain is wiped away. and theres a gaping hole...den i remembered wat i told him a few months back... bout e story of the boy and the teacher. the boy asked the teacher wat true love meant. the teacher said ' see the field over there? i want you to walk to e end of it. pick up the nicest balde of grass u see as u go. if u want another one, drop the first. but u cant come back to take it again.' so the boy did as he was told.. not understanding e teacher. and he returned to the teacher... empty handed. 'what happened' the teacher asked. 'i saw this grass... took it. then i looked up, saw somthin gleaming in the distance. so i dropped it and went there. wen i got there, i saw lots of nice grasses. but i tot if i went further id find even better ones. but the ones at the back were all dead or dying.'u get the moral of the story?